Leading a team while struggling yourself
How much should a manager share? A framework for honesty that supports your team without overexposing you.
By Tomás Lindqvist, Psychotherapist
Managers often believe they have two options: perform total composure, or disclose everything. Both are costly. Performed composure is exhausting and quietly signals to the team that difficulty must be hidden. Full disclosure shifts the emotional load onto people who cannot carry it.
There is a middle position. You can name the weather without describing the storm: 'This has been a demanding few months for me too, and I'm being deliberate about recovery.' Enough to be human, contained enough to remain the leader.
Where you do need to talk it through fully, do it outside your reporting line — with a therapist, a coach, or a peer in another organisation.
Teams do not need leaders who are never struggling. They need leaders who are honest about limits and consistent in how they treat people.
