Growing at work without constant self-criticism
High standards and harsh self-talk are not the same thing. How to keep the first and soften the second.
By Leila Haddad, Counsellor
Many high performers are convinced that self-criticism is what got them here. It is worth testing that belief: usually what got you here was curiosity, effort and support, while the criticism simply came along for the ride.
Research on performance consistently finds that self-compassion outperforms self-attack. People who respond kindly to their own mistakes return to the task faster and take more useful risks.
Practically, this looks like separating the review from the verdict. Review the work honestly — what happened, what you would change. Skip the verdict about who you are.
If the critical voice is old and familiar, therapy can help trace where it came from and reduce its authority. High standards can stay; the cruelty does not need to.
